“I text my ex boyfriend too much. How can I stop doing it?” That’s a question that I’m often asked by women who just can’t let go after a break up. There’s generally a great reason why they can’t let go and it’s because they’re still very much in love with their ex. Still, they know that texting him all the time isn’t doing any good, but yet, they send a few messages each day, most of which go completely ignored and unanswered. If this sounds like your life at the moment, there is a way to overcome this. I know it’s impossibly hard not to want to reach out to him because you care for him so much, but you’re actually pushing him away by being too overzealous.
Each time you send your ex boyfriend a text message, you’re sending another silent message that goes right along with it. You’re telling him that you’re desperate and lost on your own. I need you to consider for just a moment ho w much unnecessary pressure that is putting on your ex boyfriend. It doesn’t matter if your text message is something as simple as asking how he is or something as monumental as telling him how much you miss him, he’ll absorb them both as you being pushy or pressuring him.
You’ve likely made it incredibly clear to your ex boyfriend that you’d welcome a future with him. That’s why each time you send another text message he knows that you’re hoping he’ll respond in kind and tell you that he can’t live without you. That’s not going to happen. Instead, he’s going to feel as though you’re invading his space and he’s going to grow to resent you more and more.
There are really simple things you can do right now that will help temper your need to text your ex boyfriend so much.
- Delete his number from your cell phone. I realize this sounds like a ridiculous idea given the fact that you’ve had his number memorized for a long time. The thing is that if you aren’t staring at his name and number in your address book on your cell phone, you’ll be less inclined to simply press the button that allows you to create a new text. This is very much about getting him out of sight and then, in turn, he’ll be out of mind.
- Text a friend instead. This approach can actually be very effective. Each time you have the urge to text your ex, send a message to a close friend instead. Talk to her or him about this ahead of time and just explain how much you struggle with your addiction to your ex boyfriend. Your friend will probably jump at the chance to help you. Then, each time, you feel as though you’re going to burst if you don’t text your ex, send a message to your friend. It may be nothing more than, “I’m having a weak moment,” or “I miss him so much.” It will help. You’ll be able to express your emotions without sacrificing your sense of self by always throwing yourself at your ex boyfriend.
- Turn your phone off when you don’t need it. We’ve all grown so dependent on our phones that they almost become an extension of who we are. If possible, turn the phone off when you can. This can be a powerful and very effective way of dealing with that ongoing temptation to text your ex boyfriend. If you put the phone away in your handbag or a drawer, you’ll feel empowered. This is also a good way to get yourself involved in other things. If you shift your focus to something more productive, you’ll be less tempted to try and contact your ex.
Most of us don’t even fully realize the power of a text message when sent at exactly the right time. I’d like you to read this next page, it explains in better detail how any woman can actually send a text message, saying just the right thing, that will make her ex boyfriend respond in a very favourable way.