There’s one phrase that you never want to be saying after you and your boyfriend break up. “My ex boyfriend is already sleeping with someone else.” You’re saying it though, aren’t you? You’re living it. He did it. It hasn’t been long since you two called it quits and he’s already getting intimate with a new girl. You’re bound to feel a whole host of difficult emotions when this happens. You question whether he was intimate with her when you two were still together. Whether he actually dumped you for her and whether he ever really loved you. I know it’s hard. It’s harder than hard. Living with the knowledge that he’s moved on so quickly is very challenging. It consumes you and it makes you feel as though you were disposable and not important.
Getting angry is warranted but it’s not going to accomplish anything. Neither is jealousy. I know that it’s impossible not to be jealous of her. She has what you want. She’s got your ex boyfriend’s full attention and devotion at the moment. That’s the key that you need to remember: she is his lover at this moment. That doesn’t mean that their connection will last. In fact, most rebound relationships crash and burn very quickly. You need to take solace in that as it’s going to be your life preserver as you wiggle your way through this very difficult emotional situation.
Should You Sleep with a New Man to Get Back at Your Ex Boyfriend?
As hard as it is please don’t fall into the revenge trap. It’s such an easy step to take but you’re going to end up not only hurting yourself but involving an unsuspecting man who may actually develop very real feelings for you. Many women in your position hook up with a man in retaliation. They sleep with him and then ensure that their ex boyfriend knows about it. On the surface it certainly seems like it would be a great way to counteract what he’s doing, but it’s really not that simple at all. Men have a much harder time getting over betrayal. And, yes, he will see it as that. Even though he’s happily sharing intimacy with someone else, he will be bowled over if you do the same. He’ll never get the image of you with another man out of his mind and the relationship will be over for good. No second chances in this scenario.
You’re going to have to learn to accept that he’s playing the field for now. The newness of his current relationship won’t last and he’ll likely start comparing her to you in short order. When that happens he’ll come back around looking for you. Before that happens there are a few things that you should be doing.
Don’t dwell on the fact that your ex boyfriend is already sleeping with someone else. It’s his decision and he’s made it. Nothing you can do at this point can undo what’s already been done. Since you two have broken up that does give him the opportunity to have other experiences. Try and view it as that.
Busy yourself doing other things. I realize this is much easier said than done but it’s imperative that you try and do it. Starting a new project or a new job is perfect right now. So is taking a small vacation if financially you can afford it. Nothing heals a broken heart faster than a change of scenery.
You must do a bit of soul searching for yourself. Right now you’re feeling desperate to get him back and away from her but remember that before he dove into this new relationship, things weren’t ideal between the two of you. Think about what you’ll do differently once he does come back and whether taking him back is truly in your best interest.
If you’re truly intent on a future with your ex boyfriend, you can get him back even if he’s already sleeping with someone new. Tiny text messages can be the tool you need to get him to leave her and come running back to you.