Why Doesn’t My Ex Boyfriend Tell Me to Leave Him Alone if He’s Over Me?

Why doesn’t my ex boyfriend tell me to leave him alone if he’s over me?” That’s the million dollar question after a break up, isn’t it? Obviously, if you’re still sweet on the man you’re going to jump to the romantic conclusion that he’s not telling you to head for the hills because he’s still desperately in love with you. You need to believe that’s the case otherwise your dream of a bright and happy future with him will evaporate into a big pool of nothingness. Being oblivious may be grand in certain circumstances in life but this is definitely not one of them. You need to take off the veil of wishful thinking and start facing the cold, hard and heartbreaking facts.

There are actually several common reasons why a man is reluctant to tell his ex to go away. These include:

He’s too kind to push you away. If your ex boyfriend has a soft soul, he may just not have the courage to say something to you that he imagines will deeply hurt you. Instead of asking you to move forward in your life without him, he feels it’s easier to just allow you to still contact him. Perhaps he’s cordial or maybe he avoids you as often as he can so he can ensure he doesn’t say something he’ll regret. Regardless, he’s just trying his best to get you to eventually give up on him because he doesn’t have the courage to ask you to go find someone new.

He genuinely just wants to be your friend. Men can sometimes see promise in the aftermath of a relationship where we only see pain and disappointment. If your ex boyfriend enjoyed hanging out with you on a social level, he may just want to continue that after the romance has fizzled. Perhaps he views you as one of his close friends, so to him asking you to get a life that doesn’t include him, isn’t within him. He wants to be friends and that’s how he views your relationship. If you still care for him, don’t discount this type of connection. It can be integral to building a new and longer lasting bond between the two of you.

He loathes conflict and confrontation. Overall, women tend to be more on the emotional side than men. It’s true in my case and in most women I know. We let our emotions grab hold of a situation and all our reason temporarily disappears. Such is the case when a man is gently telling us that he thinks we’d be better off as friends or he’s fallen out of love. Our heart takes over and words come spilling out of our mouths at breakneck speed and we feel out of control. Your ex boyfriend knows this. Chances are incredibly good that he’s witnessed it first hand and that’s why he doesn’t want to tell you now that he’d be happier without you in his life at all. To avoid the conflict he may just be going through the motions of talking to you occasionally or playing the part of your friend strictly because he doesn’t want to inevitably face your emotional wrath.

Yes, there is a chance that he really is still feeling something for you and that’s why he has yet to end the relationship completely. You’ll know if this is the case if he talks about how great things used to be and how much he misses being your boyfriend. If he’s not offering up any sentimental comments like that, don’t risk your heart by assuming he still loves you. He’ll let you know if he does. Until then, look at the situation from a place of logic. Your heart will thank you for it.

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