We Broke Up and He Texted Me? How to Respond to Your Ex Boyfriend

Since the break up you’ve been waffling between wanting to contact your ex boyfriend and wanting to create some distance, right? You likely already know the no contact rule which clearly states that if you want your ex boyfriend to fall back in love with you, it’s all about staying out of his life and not getting in touch with him. Now he’s gone and taken the step of texting you. Maybe it was just a “hey” or he wanted to know how you were. Normally, you’d just respond back something as generic, but you’re concerned aren’t you? You’re worried that if you say the wrong thing to him that he’s going to turn around and run away from you again. I don’t blame you for worrying over this.

Men are incredibly fickle after a break up. They have to navigate their feelings which often range from craving the ex to disliking her. One part of your ex misses you incredibly and wants nothing more than to forget the break up ever happened so he can be with you again. The other part of your ex remembers the pain associated with the end of the romantic relationship and the difficulties that lead up to that. If that part of him is ruling the roost on the day you text him back, you should expect no response or at best, a curt “I’m busy right now.”

The problem is that many men steer their way through these emotions on a moment-to-moment basis. That means that even if he sent you a text that says he misses you like mad, by the time you read it and respond with a “me too,” he could be regretting writing to you in the first place.

Responding is obviously a roll of the dice and if you are hoping that you two will eventually work out your issues and get back together, you need to be very mindful of when you do respond to anything he writes.

Here’s What to Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Texted You

Don’t respond immediately to any text message that he sends. I know that you secretly want to, but there’s a reason I’m advising you not to.

If you send something back as soon as his text message arrives, he’s going to see that you’re more than eager to correspond with him. In his male ego driven mind he may even assume that you’ve been checking your phone continually since the break up waiting for a text from him. (Maybe you have, but that’s not something you ever want him to know.)

Wait at least an hour to 90 minutes before you write back to your ex. Then mirror what he said in tone and generalization. For instance, if he asks how you are, say “I’m fine, you?” Don’t divulge that you’re horrible because you miss him so and don’t even consider telling him that you can’t live without him.

By taking some time to text back and by not being overtly emotional, you’re showing him that he’s no longer at the top of your priority list. Doing this is helpful because it sets the tone for any type of attempt to get back together. He’ll see that you’re not waiting for him and that will make him try harder if he’s truly intent on getting you back.

Although I’ve given you my best advice, there’s more insight to be had on texting an ex boyfriend. Here’s a free video that you should watch. It really explains all about texting an ex if your intention is to get him back.



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