It’s the question I’m often asked on my blog. “Should I have sex with my ex boyfriend?” Every time I see it, I want to reach through my computer’s screen, look straight into the eyes of the woman asking the question and tell her “NO!” This is such a delicate subject for any women who is in love with a man who broke her heart. He comes back around acting like the prince charming he used to be and before you know it, he’s magically removed your clothes and you two are enjoying one another exactly as you used to. The problem is that in your lovesick heart you believe this is the beginning of the second chapter of your love story. It’s not! Your ex boyfriend isn’t viewing the intimacy quite the same way you are. Sadly, it probably means little to him at all.
Women tend to equate intimacy with love. We do that by nature. Think about back when you and your ex started dating. Right around the time you were first together intimately you started really feeling like he was the one, didn’t you? Our hearts play that cruel joke on us and we don’t see it until it’s often much too late.
Your boyfriend, on the other hand, just sees intimacy as intimacy. There’s no hidden meaning to him at all. It’s the same the first time you two made love and it will be the same if you do it again now, even though you’re broken up. In fact, sleeping with him now could actually completely damage any chance you may have had to get him to want you in a romantic sense again.
I want you to place your feelings aside just for a moment and consider something for me. If your ex boyfriend calls you up and asks you to meet him for dinner, you’re probably going to trip over your feet running to the door to get to the place he’s suggested, right? To you this is the sign that you’ve been waiting for. It has to mean that he wants to be a couple again in your mind. Sadly, he’s not anywhere in that same vicinity in his mind. To him, it’s a way for him to gauge how interested you are. If you go to this meeting with the attitude that you’re willing to place your pride aside to get close to him physically again, he’s going to sense that and he’ll certainly take you up on your silent offer.
Sex truly is just sex to an ex boyfriend. He’ll crave the familiarity and he’ll enjoy the experience. He’ll see it as the doorway of opportunity opening up for him and he may even start calling more frequently. If he constantly suggests that you go over to his place to “hang out” or if he wants to bring a pizza over to your place, instead of taking you out, he’s on a one track road and it doesn’t lead to happily ever after. It’s heading straight to fulfillment of his desire.
As much as you want to be close to him again, don’t sleep with him. If he’s interested in more, he’ll let you know. If he suggests being intimate and you refuse and then he disappears into the ether again, you’ll know that his intentions had nothing to do with winning your heart again.
Be protective of yourself. You’re truly a gift he needs to earn the right to be with again. If you adopt this attitude about yourself, he soon will as well.
Check out this free video presentation if you’re serious about getting him back. It will help you understand the mindset you need to make it happen.