Sometimes you wonder why you do the things you do, right? We’ve all been there, especially when it comes to a man. You and your boyfriend aren’t officially together anymore but you’re sleeping with him. Internally you likely know that it’s not the best idea for you but your heart wants another chance with him and perhaps you view this as the way to get it. It’s not. If you are indeed being intimate with an ex, you have to understand what impact this really has on getting him back. You may think it’s a wonderful way to draw him back into your life, but the way to an ex boyfriend’s heart is not found in bed.
It’s incredibly important that you start viewing this scenario from your ex boyfriend’s view as opposed to your love sick view. Once you see what he sees, you’re going to think twice about hopping back into an intimate encounter with him until you two have established a more meaningful romantic connection.
Your Ex Boyfriend Will Be Intimate with You Because He Loves Intimacy
Here’s the facts about what goes on in a man’s mind post break up. You and your guy were together for some time, you shared a lot including some pretty special intimate moments. He remembers those and when he’s feeling he needs some one-on-one physical contact he’s going to be drawn to a place of familiarity. That place is you.
He may tell you that he’s been thinking about you or that he misses all the incredible moments you two had together. If you sleep with him when he’s saying such romantic things, you’re instantly going to assume that he is falling back in love with you. To him it’s a very different experience. Men are much more capable of separating intimacy and love. If he misses the physical part of your relationship and you give that back to him, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s feeling anything emotional.
You can tell what’s going on in his heart if his contact with you reaches beyond the boundaries of his libido. If he wants to hang out in places other this your place or his place, that’s a good sign. Be honest with yourself about what’s going on. Don’t sugar coat it at all. If your ex boyfriend calls you and then you two end up being intimate, followed by days and days where you hear nothing from him, the desire he is feeling for you is all wrapped up in physical intimacy.
The Intimacy Will Stop When He Finds a New Woman to Romance
If you put yourself in a position in which you become your ex boyfriend’s lover, he’ll drop you like a hotcake if he becomes emotionally attracted to another woman.
He currently sees you as his intimate partner, not his emotional partner. If he hasn’t suggested that you two get back together, and he only calls or texts when he’s feeling the need to be physical, you’ve painted yourself in a corner that is going to painful to get out of.
Many women are shocked when they are dumped a second time by their ex because he’s fallen in love with someone else. Even though these women have been spending loads of intimate time with their ex boyfriends, the time was just that to the man in question, intimate time and nothing else.
He won’t continue to sleep with you because he’ll genuinely feel that he’s cheating on his new girl if he does. He’ll tell you that you two can’t “see each other” anymore because he wants to try and make his new relationship work. All the while you’ve been under the mistaken umbrella of belief that he felt closer to you than ever and it was just a matter of time before you two were in a full-fledged relationship again.
How to Shift the Dynamic Between You and Your Ex Boyfriend
You need to subtly change the dynamic between you and your ex if you truly hope to get back together with him. Sleeping with him is likely not going to be the means to that end.
It’s best to talk with him about what you’re feeling outside of the bedroom and not when you’re about to be intimate or have just been intimate. Instead, invite him out for a coffee. Simply state that there’s something important you’d like to discuss, but keep your tone light and friendly.
Explain to him that you still care for him and even though you two have been enjoying each other recently, it’s not the direction that you want to continue to head in. Make it clear that you desire more but you’re not asking for it. It’s wise to express to your ex that to you intimacy is just one part of the renewed connection you seek and you’d be open to the idea of you two dating again.
If he balks at this, you know that continuing to sleep with him is not going to get you the end result you seek. He’s only interested in one thing at the moment, so you need to remove yourself from his life.
This may feel incredibly scary given the fact that you’re essentially walking away from the man you love but view it as a step in the right direction. Your wants and needs have to trump his so it’s important that you state what you want and respect yourself enough to show that you won’t settle for anything less.
Understanding how he views you is integral in any plan you may have to get him back. Learn a stunning technique that any woman can use to get back the man she loves for good.