Have you been texting an ex boyfriend? If you have, you’re not alone. Most of us have done it. It’s hard not to, isn’t it? It’s such an accessible form of communication. It takes mere seconds to find his number on your phone, type out a small message and press send. The problem is that texting an ex is really no different than calling him. If you’re doing it too often or being too sentimental or pushy in your text messages, you risk pushing your ex boyfriend away forever. I know it seems innocent to just send a random text here and there asking how he is, but you may be doing much more harm than good. There are ways to handle this in a way that actually creates a connection and doesn’t cause more conflict than is already there.
You don’t want to try and work out the details of your failed relationship through text message. It’s not the right communication vehicle for that. Most of us have been guilty of trying to do that. We’ll send a text that says, “what happened between us,” or “how did we end up like this.” Doing this actually will make your ex boyfriend feel cornered. He’ll panic because he’ll sense that you want an answer right then and there, through text. That’s typically the reason a man will respond to a text like that with something that suggests that he’s busy or he has to go. You never want to send your ex boyfriend a message that makes him feel as though you’ve put him on the spot. That’s not fair to him and inevitably it won’t produce the answers that you feel you need.
The Right Way to Text an Ex Boyfriend
It’s certainly okay to text him now and again but keep those messages light and non-dramatic. For instance, if his favorite sports team won an important game, send an innocent message about that. You might say you were watching and knew he’d be thrilled or perhaps you could say that you imagined he was grinning from ear-to-ear because of the win. It’s also okay to text him if a special occasion has arrived. Perhaps it’s his birthday or it’s the holidays. In that case a simple, “hope it’s a great day,” will suffice.
Your goal with all of this is to keep the lines of communication open in a friendly, non-threatening way. You don’t want him to feel that you’re chasing after him so keep the texts that you do send, few and far between. There’s absolutely no reason for you to text the man each and every day. If you do that, you’re essentially telling him that you’re desperate for his attention and can’t live without him. Whether that’s true or not, you don’t want him to sense it as it won’t be helpful if you hope to reconnect with him romantically one day.
Handling the messages he sends you can be a bit more challenging. Some men feed their egos by texting their ex girlfriend that they miss them just to see what type of response that will garner. You don’t want to feel as though your ex boyfriend is toying with your emotions so don’t respond in any serious way to a text like that. Simply send a message back asking how he’s been and what’s been going on in his life. If you do that, you’re subtly telling him that you don’t want to get into a position where you feel emotionally vulnerable. If he really does miss you, he’ll ask to see you.
There is a way to use text messages to make your ex boyfriend crave to be with you again. Learn what you can text him that will make him feel an overwhelming desire to try and make the relationship work.