Why did my ex boyfriend text me out of the blue? That’s the question you’re longing to know the answer to, right? I’m asked it frequently by women who visit my blog searching for any insight they can find on how to win back the man they adore. They want nothing more than to resurrect the lost relationship and get back together with him but they’re not sure how to do that. Perhaps you fall into that category as well. So now you’re looking at your phone and there it is: a text message from him. Maybe it’s nothing more than a passing, “hi” or he wonders what you’ve been up to. You have absolutely no idea what to do or what to say back. I’m here to help you wade through the confusion and forge ahead in the best way possible.
Is there a straightforward answer to the question, “why did my ex boyfriend text me?” In a sense, there is, yes. I want you to consider what was going on between the two of you before the text message in question arrived. Had you been following the no contact rule for some time? Or had you sent him a text message a few days ago and he was just now getting around to responding to it? Those are obviously incredibly different scenarios? If you had indeed cut off all contact and the message did, in fact, come out of the blue, so to speak, that’s an incredibly promising sign for you.
Inevitably after a break up the two people are going to cycle through a whole host of emotions. One of those emotions is longing. Even if your ex boyfriend was the one who decided it was time to end the relationship, he’s going to miss you eventually. There will be quiet moments when he realizes that there’s an empty spot next to him and that you’re the woman who filled it for a long time. When that hits him, he’ll reach out in some way. It may be a phone call, perhaps he’ll show up where you work or he’ll send a text message.
Don’t Assume He Wants You Back if Your Ex Boyfriend Texts You
Sadly, just as quickly as he sends the message, regret can take hold of him and he’ll wonder why he sent it. That’s why you may discover that even if you respond in kind quickly, his tone will have changed. For example, let’s assume he sends you a text saying he misses you. You see it, your heart leaps and you write back, “me too.” In that few seconds he could realize what he’s done, feel badly for opening up the emotional dam again and respond in a cold fashion after that.
You must take into consideration the fact that your ex boyfriend may be reaching out just because he’s lonely in that particular moment. That’s why I suggest that you wait at least an hour or two before responding. There’s nothing negative to be had in doing that. In fact, if you wait, you’ll be better equipped emotionally to respond. You won’t be sending any messages based on the overwhelming emotion that accompanies the hope that you’re going to feel because you’re hearing from him.
Be mindful of the fact that if you respond too eagerly, it may make him pull back. It’s best to temper what you say to him and request that he sees you in person. If he balks at this, you’ll know that he just wasn’t that interested in talking and his text was more of a spur of the moment, missing you type thing.
I also want to mention that some men will actually use the random text message to test their ex girlfriend. They want to see if you’ll respond quickly and eagerly. If you do it gives this type of man a huge boost to his ego. Don’t play into that. You’re much better than that. Waiting before responding is not going to make or break your chances of getting him to love you again. If anything, it will help you.
I’d like you to read this next page which really focuses on the issue of texting an ex boyfriend. It will help you understand when to do it and exactly what to say. Guidance is always a good thing, especially during a difficult, emotional journey like a break up.