“My boyfriend dumped me by text message!” I’m getting more and more emails that begin with this phrase recently than ever before. It shouldn’t be surprising, but it is. I realize that most of us use the convenience of text message to correspond with everyone in our lives, including the man we’re involved with, but isn’t there a line of compassion drawn somewhere? Learning that the man you love doesn’t want you anymore via text makes it even more heartless and heartbreaking. When I’m asked by women on my blog or newsletter, how I believe they should respond to this, I always offer the same piece of advice.
Any man who dumps a woman by text message is a coward. I don’t care if he’s three thousand miles away and you two have been balancing a long distance relationship. I also don’t care if he tells you that the reason he did it that way, as opposed to a more honourable approach, because he was himself so distraught. The fact of the matter is that any man, who is worth his weight in a relationship, will take the few moments it takes to end the relationship in person. If that isn’t possible, because of physical distance, than a phone call, at a convenient time, is the next best thing.
Responding to a text message that literally changes your life is daunting. If you’re reading this, I’m assuming that the text has already arrived and you’ve responded. Likely you didn’t hold back what you felt and perhaps you even tried to convince your ex, through text message, that he shouldn’t leave you or that he was making a monumental mistake.
If you have already traveled down that path, don’t fret. What you do from this day forward is what matters the most. You must not allow your boyfriend’s cowardly approach to the break up to undermine who you are as a woman and as a partner. It’s very important that you recognize that it was his decision to take that route to end the relationship. In fact, I believe that you should see it as a sign that he wasn’t strong enough emotionally to do what was really the right thing. In most cases, this is because the man in question wanted to avoid any type of confrontation with his ex in any form. So he takes the easy way out to avoid the risk of her screaming at him, or crying.
Stop Texting Your Ex Boyfriend When You’re Emotional!
If you’ve been texting him since the day he dumped you, stop what you’re doing. By continuing to engage him in a dialogue that started with a break up, you’re essentially giving him all the power that is still there in the failing relationship. Chances are that even though you have no intention of asking him repeatedly why he dumped you, that is exactly what you end up doing. When corresponding with an ex boyfriend, most women allow their good judgement to take a holiday, and they engage in behavior that makes them look pathetic and overly desperate. You do not want this to happen. That’s why you have to stop texting him when you feel upset, sad or angry with him.
There is likely to come a day when he will text you again and start flirting or being overly kind. I advise you to temper your responses to him and don’t fall into the trap of being swept away by old memories or your continued longing for him. If he sends you text messages that makes it seem as though he’s interested in you again, ask him to meet you in person. If he has an excuse for why he can’t, tell him that you’re busy.
You can’t allow him to control you via text message. If a man has toyed with your emotions using this method of communication in the past, don’t allow him to do it again now. You’re the one in control of what happens in your life. Never forget that.
There is actually a great way to use text messages yourself if you want to get the man back. If you’re interested, click here to watch a free video that explains what I mean in greater detail.