Can Michael Fiore Help You Text Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Yes!

by: Gillian - December 17th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

Understanding the emotional dynamics that are at work after a break up isn’t easy. It’s incredibly hard to know what your ex boyfriend is thinking at any given moment. You want to reach out to him but what happens if you do it when he’s feeling bitter or angry about the break up? What if you send a compassionate text message and he’s not open to hearing it? These are all genuine questions that plague women as they work their way through losing the man they love. I know for me, all I wanted was to send him a text message now and again, asking how he was feeling, if he missed me or if he ever thought about getting back together. Truth be told, I did send a few messages just like that but sadly, often, my ex boyfriend just wouldn’t respond at all.

Michael Fiore is a relationship master. I don’t say that lightly. I saw him initially back in February, 2011 when he was on Rachael Ray’s Valentine’s Day show. He was showing her how to use text messages to bring romance back into your relationship. I was intrigued since, like most women, my man isn’t always the Prince Charming I wish he was. Michael’s ideas about romance are very insightful for women. He explains how men view things and, more importantly, how they absorb certain things.

How Text Your Ex Back Can Give You The Second Chance You Want

In his subsequent product, Text Your Ex Back, he explains how to use text messages to draw your ex boyfriend back. For many of us, it seems that it should only take a simple, “I miss you” or “I need you” to get your ex boyfriend’s attention. Men just don’t respond to those types of heartfelt messages the same way we do. Can you just imagine if your ex sent you a text right now that said, “I can’t live without you.” You’d be jumping for joy, right? The same wouldn’t be the case if you sent him that exact text message.

The reason Michael Fiore’s techniques work is that he explains to women how to unlock a man’s passion center. It’s all about creating a connection again that is so powerful that he’ll feel compelled to come back to you. It works whether the break up was mutual, or your idea or his. It works if you two are miles apart or if you still live in the same home.

Most of us are just not emotionally equipped to deal with a break up in a way that ensures that we’ll get another chance with the man we love. As women, we feel things very deeply and because of that we respond in very quick ways. In other words, we don’t think through what we’re doing. We don’t think ahead to what the ramifications will be tomorrow, the day after that or a year from now.

What you do – everything you do – after the break up is going to impact your connection with your ex boyfriend. Read that again – it’s so true. Each word you say or text to him. Each move you make and each emotion you exhibit will impact him.

Guidance is something we don’t often accept or seek in life. We believe that we know best in terms of what will help us get what we want which in this case is a renewed future with an ex boyfriend. I’m here to tell you that guidance can be a relationship saver.

Michael has prepared a video that explains a lot about break ups and our response to them. You can watch it here.

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I’m So Angry with My Ex Boyfriend! How to Let That Go

by: Gillian - December 15th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

If we only knew all the varying emotions we’d experience after a break up, we’d do our level best to avoid it. It’s always different for the person who was dumped. Sure, the one who did the dumping must have felt some sort of internal conflict as they weighed whether to end the relationship of not, but the crux of the pain falls on the shoulders of the person who was dumped. In that case, that’s you. I know how it feels and I also know that the emotions that accompany it can feel overwhelming at times. There are days when all you want to do is cry, other days you just want to try and convince him that he’s made a mistake, and at other times, there’s a rush of anger that overtakes you. Being angry with him is natural and healthy. How you express that anger to him is what you need to be mindful of.

Anger is a debilitating emotion. For me, I cycled through periods where I was so mad at my ex boyfriend for dumping me, that I’d write him very long, emotional emails and then send them thinking they would teach him a lesson or give him a window into how devastating his actions had been to me. When he wouldn’t respond, I’d find my rage just burning within me more. Typically during those times, I’d try to call him and he would, rightfully, not answer. Of course, I couldn’t think clearly so I’d leave voicemail messages filled with horrible sentiments all fuelled by my uncontrollable anger.

Each time this happened to me, the anger would dissipate and I’d go back to feeling discarded, alone and sad. One day, I happened to look at my sent email messages and noticed a note I had sent to my ex boyfriend during a bout of rage. It was truly despicable and I saw clearly, in that moment of calm reflection, why he had never responded.

Letting Go Of Anger After a Break Up

Letting go of anger can be a very difficult thing to do. If you’re a person who is naturally very passionate, you’ll likely feel anger and rage at a much deeper level. That’s exactly how I was. Learning to temper it, particularly in terms of my broken relationship, helped me move forward in a more positive and thoughtful way.

My first suggestion if you want to let go of the anger is to express it fully. The key is not to direct it right at your ex boyfriend but channel it through the written word. Open a document on your computer or go the old fashioned route and grab a pen and paper. Now start sharing everything you’re feeling. Make a list of why you’re mad. Write about how rejected you feel and express openly why you feel your ex boyfriend made the wrong choice. Don’t show this document to anyone. It’s your personal anger journal and you’re going to add to it as need be as you work your way through the next few days and weeks.

You must also learn to forgive your ex boyfriend. I realize that right now that may feel like a foreign concept given the emotional turmoil you are in. It’s an important part of the healing process though. I recognize that your ex boyfriend may have made countless promises of commitment and everlasting love and devotion. You have to understand that people change as do their feelings. When he said those things, he likely wasn’t been disingenuous at all, he was being honest. Back then he believed that your future would be spent together. However, something changed for him, and you must face that. Being mad at someone who simply fell out of love with you isn’t fair to either of you. You’ll find inner peace if you work towards forgiveness.

I’m a strong believer in time being one of the most powerful healing agents there are. If you constantly put yourself in a position in which you must interact with your ex boyfriend, you are only pushing your own triggers towards anger and resentment.

The two of you aren’t together anymore so make a clean break. If you’ve already sorted through all your personal belongings, there’s really no purpose for talking with him again. Remove him from your cell phone address book, stop driving by his apartment, and pack up anything that even remotely reminds you of him including gifts and photographs.

You will find that you can heal faster and more effectively if you focus your attention on yourself and the people who bring positive energy to your life. By taking a proactive approach to dealing with your break up anger, you’ll be helping yourself more than anyone else. Look at the break up as one of life’s experiences and take whatever you can from it that will make you a stronger, more desirable and more balanced woman.

Once I worked past the anger I was feeling I realized that I still loved my ex boyfriend deeply. I’ve written more about that here and hope that it will give you some comfort in this emotionally difficult time.

 

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My Ex Boyfriend Just Texted Me! How Should I Respond?

by: Gillian - December 13th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

“My ex boyfriend just texted me! I don’t know how to respond.” Did you ever imagine you’d get so tied up in emotional knots over a simple text message from your ex boyfriend? Of course you didn’t. You probably also never imagined that the two of you would be broken up, right? You felt that the relationship was “the one.” You loved him desperately and now you’re just left with a feeling of desperation because he’s decided to take some time or he’s not in love with you anymore. None of that really matters at this point. You’re just completely focused on the fact that he’s texted you. How exactly should you respond? I’m here to help you navigate that road so you say exactly the right thing back to him.

Before you respond at all consider what you really want for your future. If you’re just desperately missing your ex boyfriend in this moment, you may make a crucial mistake by hooking up with him again when you know in the back of your mind that it would be a horrendous error that will leave you devastated again. If you’ve been thinking about him constantly and you truly miss his presence in your life and you feel that you two together could work through the issues that pulled you apart, you need to be cautious with how you approach him from this point forward. Don’t lose sight of the fact that your ex boyfriend’s motivations for sending you a text may be very different than what you hope they are.

Now, look at the text and think about why he sent it. If it’s a simple, “hey, how are you,” he’s probably looking to reconnect in some fashion. If it’s more direct such as, “do you want to get together today,” he’s going through a spell of really missing you and you need to be mindful of how you react to that. Some men just miss the intimacy that they shared with their ex girlfriend and that’s what drives them to send a message in the hope that she’ll be willing to share her body, but not her emotions.

Exactly How to Respond When Your Ex Boyfriend Sends a Text

My best advice for responding to an ex boyfriend who sends a text is to give it at least a couple of hours before you text anything back to him. That way you’ll have to time to gather your thoughts and he’ll have time to cool down if he’s feeling anything but genuine longing for you.

When you do respond keep it very simple and short. If he asked how you were, just text back, “I’m good and you?” This immediately throws the ball back in his court and it will be up to him to follow through with his true intentions.

One side note that I believe is incredibly important is that if your ex boyfriend and you had a very difficult break up and he’s been playing the hot and cold game with you, be wary. Some men take to pumping up their egos by mistreating their ex girlfriends. These type of men will pretend they want to get back together, only to push you away again. You don’t want to become a pawn in that.

If that’s the pattern that your ex boyfriend has been following, my best advice is not to respond to his text messages at all. If you do, you’re essentially handing your emotional power to him on a silver platter. He’s proven that he can manipulate your feelings so it’s important that you put a stop to that now.

Most of us don’t fully recognize the power of text messages and how they can alter a relationship. There are certain, specific text messages that you can send your ex boyfriend that will actually make him crave to be with you again. You can learn more about that here.

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I Text My Ex Boyfriend Too Much! How Can I Stop?

by: Gillian - December 12th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

“I text my ex boyfriend too much. How can I stop doing it?” That’s a question that I’m often asked by women who just can’t let go after a break up. There’s generally a great reason why they can’t let go and it’s because they’re still very much in love with their ex. Still, they know that texting him all the time isn’t doing any good, but yet, they send a few messages each day, most of which go completely ignored and unanswered. If this sounds like your life at the moment, there is a way to overcome this. I know it’s impossibly hard not to want to reach out to him because you care for him so much, but you’re actually pushing him away by being too overzealous.

Each time you send your ex boyfriend a text message, you’re sending another silent message that goes right along with it. You’re telling him that you’re desperate and lost on your own. I need you to consider for just a moment ho w much unnecessary pressure that is putting on your ex boyfriend. It doesn’t matter if your text message is something as simple as asking how he is or something as monumental as telling him how much you miss him, he’ll absorb them both as you being pushy or pressuring him.

You’ve likely made it incredibly clear to your ex boyfriend that you’d welcome a future with him. That’s why each time you send another text message he knows that you’re hoping he’ll respond in kind and tell you that he can’t live without you. That’s not going to happen. Instead, he’s going to feel as though you’re invading his space and he’s going to grow to resent you more and more.

There are really simple things you can do right now that will help temper your need to text your ex boyfriend so much.

  • Delete his number from your cell phone. I realize this sounds like a ridiculous idea given the fact that you’ve had his number memorized for a long time. The thing is that if you aren’t staring at his name and number in your address book on your cell phone, you’ll be less inclined to simply press the button that allows you to create a new text. This is very much about getting him out of sight and then, in turn, he’ll be out of mind.
  • Text a friend instead. This approach can actually be very effective. Each time you have the urge to text your ex, send a message to a close friend instead. Talk to her or him about this ahead of time and just explain how much you struggle with your addiction to your ex boyfriend. Your friend will probably jump at the chance to help you. Then, each time, you feel as though you’re going to burst if you don’t text your ex, send a message to your friend. It may be nothing more than, “I’m having a weak moment,” or “I miss him so much.” It will help. You’ll be able to express your emotions without sacrificing your sense of self by always throwing yourself at your ex boyfriend.
  • Turn your phone off when you don’t need it. We’ve all grown so dependent on our phones that they almost become an extension of who we are. If possible, turn the phone off when you can. This can be a powerful and very effective way of dealing with that ongoing temptation to text your ex boyfriend. If you put the phone away in your handbag or a drawer, you’ll feel empowered. This is also a good way to get yourself involved in other things. If you shift your focus to something more productive, you’ll be less tempted to try and contact your ex.

Most of us don’t even fully realize the power of a text message when sent at exactly the right time. I’d like you to read this next page, it explains in better detail how any woman can actually send a text message, saying just the right thing, that will make her ex boyfriend respond in a very favourable way.

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Why Did My Ex Boyfriend Text Me Out of the Blue? The Real Reason

by: Gillian - December 10th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

Why did my ex boyfriend text me out of the blue? That’s the question you’re longing to know the answer to, right? I’m asked it frequently by women who visit my blog searching for any insight they can find on how to win back the man they adore. They want nothing more than to resurrect the lost relationship and get back together with him but they’re not sure how to do that. Perhaps you fall into that category as well. So now you’re looking at your phone and there it is: a text message from him. Maybe it’s nothing more than a passing, “hi” or he wonders what you’ve been up to. You have absolutely no idea what to do or what to say back. I’m here to help you wade through the confusion and forge ahead in the best way possible.

Is there a straightforward answer to the question, “why did my ex boyfriend text me?” In a sense, there is, yes. I want you to consider what was going on between the two of you before the text message in question arrived. Had you been following the no contact rule for some time? Or had you sent him a text message a few days ago and he was just now getting around to responding to it? Those are obviously incredibly different scenarios? If you had indeed cut off all contact and the message did, in fact, come out of the blue, so to speak, that’s an incredibly promising sign for you.

Inevitably after a break up the two people are going to cycle through a whole host of emotions. One of those emotions is longing. Even if your ex boyfriend was the one who decided it was time to end the relationship, he’s going to miss you eventually. There will be quiet moments when he realizes that there’s an empty spot next to him and that you’re the woman who filled it for a long time. When that hits him, he’ll reach out in some way. It may be a phone call, perhaps he’ll show up where you work or he’ll send a text message.

Don’t Assume He Wants You Back if Your Ex Boyfriend Texts You

Sadly, just as quickly as he sends the message, regret can take hold of him and he’ll wonder why he sent it. That’s why you may discover that even if you respond in kind quickly, his tone will have changed. For example, let’s assume he sends you a text saying he misses you. You see it, your heart leaps and you write back, “me too.” In that few seconds he could realize what he’s done, feel badly for opening up the emotional dam again and respond in a cold fashion after that.

You must take into consideration the fact that your ex boyfriend may be reaching out just because he’s lonely in that particular moment. That’s why I suggest that you wait at least an hour or two before responding. There’s nothing negative to be had in doing that. In fact, if you wait, you’ll be better equipped emotionally to respond. You won’t be sending any messages based on the overwhelming emotion that accompanies the hope that you’re going to feel because you’re hearing from him.

Be mindful of the fact that if you respond too eagerly, it may make him pull back. It’s best to temper what you say to him and request that he sees you in person. If he balks at this, you’ll know that he just wasn’t that interested in talking and his text was more of a spur of the moment, missing you type thing.

I also want to mention that some men will actually use the random text message to test their ex girlfriend. They want to see if you’ll respond quickly and eagerly. If you do it gives this type of man a huge boost to his ego. Don’t play into that. You’re much better than that. Waiting before responding is not going to make or break your chances of getting him to love you again. If anything, it will help you.

I’d like you to read this next page which really focuses on the issue of texting an ex boyfriend. It will help you understand when to do it and exactly what to say. Guidance is always a good thing, especially during a difficult, emotional journey like a break up.

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We Broke Up and He Texted Me? How to Respond to Your Ex Boyfriend

by: Gillian - December 8th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

Since the break up you’ve been waffling between wanting to contact your ex boyfriend and wanting to create some distance, right? You likely already know the no contact rule which clearly states that if you want your ex boyfriend to fall back in love with you, it’s all about staying out of his life and not getting in touch with him. Now he’s gone and taken the step of texting you. Maybe it was just a “hey” or he wanted to know how you were. Normally, you’d just respond back something as generic, but you’re concerned aren’t you? You’re worried that if you say the wrong thing to him that he’s going to turn around and run away from you again. I don’t blame you for worrying over this.

Men are incredibly fickle after a break up. They have to navigate their feelings which often range from craving the ex to disliking her. One part of your ex misses you incredibly and wants nothing more than to forget the break up ever happened so he can be with you again. The other part of your ex remembers the pain associated with the end of the romantic relationship and the difficulties that lead up to that. If that part of him is ruling the roost on the day you text him back, you should expect no response or at best, a curt “I’m busy right now.”

The problem is that many men steer their way through these emotions on a moment-to-moment basis. That means that even if he sent you a text that says he misses you like mad, by the time you read it and respond with a “me too,” he could be regretting writing to you in the first place.

Responding is obviously a roll of the dice and if you are hoping that you two will eventually work out your issues and get back together, you need to be very mindful of when you do respond to anything he writes.

Here’s What to Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Texted You

Don’t respond immediately to any text message that he sends. I know that you secretly want to, but there’s a reason I’m advising you not to.

If you send something back as soon as his text message arrives, he’s going to see that you’re more than eager to correspond with him. In his male ego driven mind he may even assume that you’ve been checking your phone continually since the break up waiting for a text from him. (Maybe you have, but that’s not something you ever want him to know.)

Wait at least an hour to 90 minutes before you write back to your ex. Then mirror what he said in tone and generalization. For instance, if he asks how you are, say “I’m fine, you?” Don’t divulge that you’re horrible because you miss him so and don’t even consider telling him that you can’t live without him.

By taking some time to text back and by not being overtly emotional, you’re showing him that he’s no longer at the top of your priority list. Doing this is helpful because it sets the tone for any type of attempt to get back together. He’ll see that you’re not waiting for him and that will make him try harder if he’s truly intent on getting you back.

Although I’ve given you my best advice, there’s more insight to be had on texting an ex boyfriend. Here’s a free video that you should watch. It really explains all about texting an ex if your intention is to get him back.

 

 

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I Really Want to Text My Ex Boyfriend! Dealing With This Urge The Right Way

by: Gillian - December 5th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

“Help Gillian! I really want to text my ex boyfriend!” I get at least one email a day from women expressing this urge. Some are a bit more frantic than this though. They feel out of control and all they really want is a chance to text their ex to say they miss him or they love him. It feels natural, doesn’t it? After all, you texted him so much when you two were together and now you feel a void. I know that your emotions get the better of you sometimes, but you need to be mindful of what all those random text messages are suggesting to him. If you have any desire to eventually get the man back, you really need to slow down and think before you text!

Here’s what happens when you text your ex boyfriend to tell him you love him. You send the text and you wait breathlessly for him to respond. You want him to say that he can’t live without you and he wants you back. Unfortunately, one of two things actually happen.

  1. He doesn’t respond at all. You stare at your phone for hours and you get nothing from him. You may start to wonder if the message was even delivered. It was. Yes, he is ignoring you on purpose.
  2. He writes back and says, “thank you” or “that’s nice.” Normally those are lovely phrases and we welcome them but obviously not in the case of an ex boyfriend you’ve just spilled your heart out to.

You should never text him to tell him what’s in his heart. He won’t respond in the way that you want. It’s almost guaranteed that his response, or lack of response, will make you feel worse and will cause you to regret your actions.

Another approach that women sometimes take when they feel an urge to text an ex is they’ll pretend to mistakenly send him a text meant for someone else. In a moment when you are desperate to have any sort of contact with your ex, this seems like such a great idea. In retrospect you’re going to realize how lame it really is. Your ex boyfriend is smarter than you give him credit for. He knows that you are sending him misguided messages so you can then contact him to explain.

One reader wrote to tell me that she sent her ex boyfriend a message saying that she couldn’t wait to see him later in the week. She naturally used another man’s name in the text. In her mind, this was the perfect trap to set, and the other man’s name was the irresistible bait. I probably don’t have to tell you that this didn’t work at all. Her ex boyfriend didn’t respond and when she finally did get in touch with him (via phone call) weeks later he was dating someone new. To her utter shock he explained that the misguided text message made him realize she had moved on so he followed suit.

Just as you need to be mindful of what you say when you see your ex boyfriend in person or what you say on the phone, you also need to be cautious with what you share via text message.

If you want to learn more about how you can use tiny messages to regain his interest, in the right way, click here to read my thoughts on texting your ex boyfriend.

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I’m Obsessed with My Ex Boyfriend and He Seems Over Me! Advice to Move Forward

by: Gillian - December 4th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

“Gillian, I’m obsessed with my ex boyfriend and he seems over me!” That was the gist of an email I received the other day. Beyond the fact that it’s heartbreaking to know that this lovely woman still loves her ex and he’s moved on, it’s difficult to know that she’s unsure of what to do. Typically after a break up women do one thing and one thing only, they obsess. They think about their ex non-stop, they plot ways to get him back and then they use methods that almost always backfire, leaving the relationship more of a mess than it was before. I know it’s hard to think clearly when you feel that the love of your life has left for good, but you need to gain some clarity. This is not the end. You can still salvage this and have the future you want with him but it’s not going to happen until you take a step back and listen to some effective advice.

It’s hard to see beyond the pain you’re in today but I want you to do something right now. I want you to stop thinking about the fact that the two of you broke up and instead focus on what it will be like a month, six months or a year from now when you two are happily back together. Imagine how nice it will feel to be held by your ex boyfriend again and to hear him tell you that he loves you and will never leave. That’s the image that you need to keep focused on. If you can do that, you’ll be able to pull your emotions together and find a clearer path towards understanding what you need to do now.

Trying to convince a man to take you back when he feels grateful that the relationship is over is an exercise in futile frustration. There’s a period of time after a break up when the person who did the dumping feels a type of liberating justice. They feel that they’re free and they envision a life filled with new and wonderful experiences and a relationship on the horizon that will fulfill all their needs. Time has a way of stealing that illusion away and it will do that for your ex boyfriend too. He’s going to discover, as time moves forward, that life without you isn’t what he imagined it to be. Instead of happiness and freedom, he’s going to feel lonely and depressed.

Your focus needs to be on how you’re going to react when he eventually comes back around looking for a relationship again. (He will!) You want to be in such a good and balanced place emotionally that you don’t instantly fall back into his arms. That’s why you need to stop obsessing about the fact that you don’t have him in your life today. You have to think towards the future and that moment when your phone rings and it’s him asking if you’re seeing anyone else.

Men are drawn to strong women. They want the women they choose to spend their lives with to be in control of what she’s feeling. Men don’t enjoy any sort of drama, and that’s certainly the case when they are trying to resurrect a relationship they had a hand in destroying. When he does call you again, don’t jump to see him. Tell him you’re well, busy and that you’ll have some time in a few days. Making him wait shows that you’re not that eager to be his again. His psychological need to have you will kick itself into high gear and he’ll chase after you again endlessly until he does finally catch you.

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Why Do Men Get Over a Break Up So Fast? Advice for Women

by: Gillian - December 2nd, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

I’m often questioned by women on my blog on one specific topic and that’s why men are capable of getting over a break up so quickly. It does seem to be the norm, doesn’t it? We mourn the loss of the relationship for weeks, if not months, while our exes are out partying the nights, days and weekends away oblivious to the emotional pain we’re in. It’s an interesting study on the topic of human emotions. As women we have a more difficult time emotionally disconnecting from a relationship, even if the break up was by our hand. Men, on the other hand, seem able to pick their hearts up, dust them off and dive right back into life full force and with a smile on their faces. Why is that? Is there a definitive reason for why men seem much more emotionally able to move on towards a new life and new relationship after a split? The real reason behind that smile on your ex boyfriend’s face may surprise you.

Our perception is that our ex has gotten over the break up because we don’t see him in those quiet, sullen moments when the gravity of the situation hits him. In confidence, many men will actually confess to being heartbroken by the reality that the relationship they viewed as life sustaining has shattered. Men are raised, for the most part, to be strong and to hide their emotions away from the world. So when you speak to your ex or you run into him at a mutual favorite place you may be mistaking that smile on his face for acceptance and perhaps even joy at his newfound freedom. Internally he may be fighting the urge to tell you that he misses you more than he thought possible and he wishes that things could just go back to how they used to be. In other words, that facade that he’s presenting to you may not be what really lurks beneath the surface.

Obviously, there does exist the man who can dust his heart off and jump back into his life at warp speed. This is the man who dives into a new relationship just as he’s checking out of the old one. To the woman left behind, she suddenly devalues her place in his life and the relationship they shared. She’ll wonder whether she meant anything more to him than a short stop on his romantic adventure. Viewing yourself through the eyes of an ex boyfriend who is not compassionate is a mistake. You should look at the relationship the way you choose to and hold onto the parts of it that helped you to become the woman you are now.

I advise women not to dwell too heavily on the behavior of their ex after the break up. If he does certain things, you may mistakenly believe those are silent signals that he’s still hung up on you. By the same token if he doesn’t do certain things you may jump to the very same conclusion.

All you really need to focus on is that it was an experience in your life and now you’re going to look towards new experiences, be it with him in the future or with someone new. He’s going to process the break up in a way that is best for him, just as you’re going to do the same for yourself.

Remember that he’s not your boyfriend anymore. What he does isn’t your concern. You need to let him go, for now and point the spotlight directly on yourself and the amazing woman you are. You’ve grown since the break up and you need to use the emotional journey you’ve taken as fuel for the next great adventure awaiting you.

To learn more about how to move on from a break up, visit this page.

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Should I Have Sex With My Ex Boyfriend? No!

by: Gillian - November 26th, 2011   Filed under: Want My Boyfriend Back Add Comment

It’s the question I’m often asked on my blog. “Should I have sex with my ex boyfriend?” Every time I see it, I want to reach through my computer’s screen, look straight into the eyes of the woman asking the question and tell her “NO!” This is such a delicate subject for any women who is in love with a man who broke her heart. He comes back around acting like the prince charming he used to be and before you know it, he’s magically removed your clothes and you two are enjoying one another exactly as you used to. The problem is that in your lovesick heart you believe this is the beginning of the second chapter of your love story. It’s not! Your ex boyfriend isn’t viewing the intimacy quite the same way you are. Sadly, it probably means little to him at all.

Women tend to equate intimacy with love. We do that by nature. Think about back when you and your ex started dating. Right around the time you were first together intimately you started really feeling like he was the one, didn’t you? Our hearts play that cruel joke on us and we don’t see it until it’s often much too late.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, just sees intimacy as intimacy. There’s no hidden meaning to him at all. It’s the same the first time you two made love and it will be the same if you do it again now, even though you’re broken up. In fact, sleeping with him now could actually completely damage any chance you may have had to get him to want you in a romantic sense again.

I want you to place your feelings aside just for a moment and consider something for me. If your ex boyfriend calls you up and asks you to meet him for dinner, you’re probably going to trip over your feet running to the door to get to the place he’s suggested, right? To you this is the sign that you’ve been waiting for. It has to mean that he wants to be a couple again in your mind. Sadly, he’s not anywhere in that same vicinity in his mind. To him, it’s a way for him to gauge how interested you are. If you go to this meeting with the attitude that you’re willing to place your pride aside to get close to him physically again, he’s going to sense that and he’ll certainly take you up on your silent offer.

Sex truly is just sex to an ex boyfriend. He’ll crave the familiarity and he’ll enjoy the experience. He’ll see it as the doorway of opportunity opening up for him and he may even start calling more frequently. If he constantly suggests that you go over to his place to “hang out” or if he wants to bring a pizza over to your place, instead of taking you out, he’s on a one track road and it doesn’t lead to happily ever after. It’s heading straight to fulfillment of his desire.

As much as you want to be close to him again, don’t sleep with him. If he’s interested in more, he’ll let you know. If he suggests being intimate and you refuse and then he disappears into the ether again, you’ll know that his intentions had nothing to do with winning your heart again.

Be protective of yourself. You’re truly a gift he needs to earn the right to be with again. If you adopt this attitude about yourself, he soon will as well.

Check out this free video presentation if you’re serious about getting him back. It will help you understand the mindset you need to make it happen.

 

 

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