“My ex boyfriend texted me saying he misses me!” If you’re the woman saying that, and you’re still madly in love with the ex boyfriend in question, you’re jumping for joy, aren’t you? Why wouldn’t you be? The man you’ve been longing for has finally come to his senses and he wants you back, right? You can’t believe it and you’re already planning on how great things will be this time around. Wait! Before you start preparing for when you two will move back in together, take a deep breath. As much as you want his text to mean he still wants to be with you, you’re reading too much into it. Just because he says he misses you, that doesn’t mean anything substantial and you can’t risk investing your heart in it.
Men and women don’t see text messages in quite the same light post break up. To us an unexpected text message from our ex boyfriend is a beacon in the darkness. We see it as a sign of promise and hope. If it happens to say that our ex boyfriend misses us, we see it as a guiding light towards the future we’ve been dreaming of. Yes, it sounds dramatic, but you know, as well as I do, that once your ex boyfriend sends a message like that, your heart leaps and you can’t stop staring at your phone. You want it to mean that he’s forgotten the pain of the break up, he’s realized that you’re the love of his life and he’s ready to let bygones be bygones.
It probably means nothing more than he’s lonely in the moment and saw your number in his phone so decided he’d send you a text. This is particularly true if you get that text message late at night. A man who has nothing on his plate, might want to stir something up by reaching out to an ex girlfriend. Men instinctively know that if they say they miss us, we’ll melt. It’s one of our triggers. It makes us weak in the knees and we become very receptive.
How to Respond When Your Ex Texts You
If you haven’t already texted him back telling him that you miss him too, consider yourself fortunate. The moment you do that, you’re opening yourself up to him again. If he’s a man who just wants to see where he still stands with you, that’s all the fuel he needs for his egotistical fire and he’ll disappear into the ether again. If he’s still a little starved in that department, he may engage you in a conversation, via text, about how much you really miss him.
The advice you need to follow is very straightforward. When your ex boyfriend does text you to say he misses you, don’t respond immediately. Give it at least an hour. Consider that you could be busy at work, out with friends, or taking a long, relaxing bath, depending on the time of day. If you allow some time to pass, you’ll find more clues in his reply to you.
What should you text when you finally do send him a message? Say something that doesn’t speak of any emotional commitment. You may text back, “It’s so great to hear from you. How have you been?” If you want to acknowledge his text directly, then send a message back that does just that, “This put a smile on my face. How are things in your life?” Both those scenarios open the lines of communication wide open and put the ball back in your ex’s court.
If he’s serious about missing you and wanting to see you again, let him make the suggestion of meeting somewhere. This is truly the best way to gauge what he’s feeling without risking your own emotional health. You don’t want to get your hopes up based on his one text. Let him show you, through his actions, that he’s serious about working out the problems you two faced. If he never asks you to get together, his motivations may not be aligned with yours. In that case, keep things friendly and keep your heart out of it.
There’s a science to handling text messages from your ex boyfriend and there’s actually a way to use texts to get him to crave you again. You can learn more about how it works, here. It’s powerful and effective.