You and your boyfriend just don’t seem to be on the same wavelength anymore. You love him, you envision a happy and committed future with one another, but you’re so far apart right now. You’re convinced that he’s going to leave you. He’s distant, moody and he seems to be looking for any excuse to not spend time with you. You find yourself wondering whether there’s anything you can do at this point to convince him not to break up with you. You can’t imagine the pain you’ll feel if he announces at some point that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Instead of using all of your emotional energy to try and make the man stay with you, it’s time for you to recognize the benefits to the relationship if he does decide to walk out the door.
When a Woman Chases a Man She Devalues Herself
Each and every time you tell your boyfriend that you can’t live without him, you are essentially saying that he matters more than you. You never want a man, even the man you desperately love, to view you as someone who devalues herself in favor of another. He’ll lose respect for you and eventually his attraction to you will fade. This is often the cause of many relationships falling apart. The man simply reaches a point where he sees his girlfriend as too clingy. If you let your own life slip away because you make your boyfriend the sole focus of your life, the relationship will be doomed.
If he seems to be pulling back, it’s in your best interest to try and not react at all. That’s virtually impossible given the fact that this is the man you utterly adore. However, if you try and hold onto him when he is determined to take a break, you’ll be pushing him out of your life faster and maybe, for good. You must ensure that he sees you as a woman who is so secure within her own life, that she can live without him.
Agree With Him if He Suggests a Break
Most men don’t want to deal directly with the subject of breaking up with their girlfriend. They envision a very difficult emotional situation with her breaking down and pleading for another chance. That’s why many men will suggest a break or some time apart as opposed to a full on break up. The woman sees it as just a short break where they both can evaluate their feelings. For the man it’s much more a first step towards a permanent break up.
If your boyfriend comes to you and tells you that he’d like to take a break, you must pull out all your internal strength and tell him that you agree that it’s a wise idea. It’s best to do this a day or two after he’s said he wants time apart. If you try and respond immediately, your emotions will overtake your better judgment and you’ll be begging him to reconsider which will turn into a nasty, emotional struggle.
When he first mentions the idea of a break, tell him you need a bit of time. Then call him and in as calm a voice as you can muster, explain that you have also been thinking about taking a break. This may feel like game playing at the time, but it’s a way for you to lay the foundation for the two of you to reunite. He’s not going to expect you to respond in this way at all and it will actually give you an advantage as you two head into the break.
Embrace Your Life Without Him
If your boyfriend does decide that some time apart will serve him well, you have to embrace it in order to show him that life does continue without him. Like most women in this situation, you’re going to be tempted to hide yourself away from society so you can replay the better moments of your lost relationship over and over again in your mind. You can do that, briefly. Once you’ve mourned the loss you must jump back into your life, full force. You have to move forward for several reasons; one being that your boyfriend must witness you as a strong, capable and emotionally strong woman.
There’s some sadistic pleasure that many men take in knowing their ex girlfriend can’t get over them. If you don’t leave your apartment other than going to work, your boyfriend will soon learn of that through mutual friends. He’ll know that you’re stuck in the emotional pain of the break up and that will signal to him that you’re still waiting for him to take you back. You have to shift that perception as quickly as possible.
Many relationships that fall apart end up stronger than ever after some time apart has passed. You have the ability to use your boyfriend’s desire for freedom to your own advantage. You can make him feel as though he needs to chase you again by just staying out of his reach. Show your boyfriend your true value by rising above the emotions and drama. Be strong with or without him and his need to have you will overtake him again and soon he’ll be chasing after you trying to convince you to give the relationship, and him, another chance.