Posts Tagged ‘texting an ex boyfriend’

I Really Want to Text My Ex Boyfriend! Dealing With This Urge The Right Way

“Help Gillian! I really want to text my ex boyfriend!” I get at least one email a day from women expressing this urge. Some are a bit more frantic than this though. They feel out of control and all they really want is a chance to text their ex to say they miss him or they love him. It feels natural, doesn’t it? After all, you texted him so much when you two were together and now you feel a void. I know that your emotions get the better of you sometimes, but you need to be mindful of what all those random text messages are suggesting to him. If you have any desire to eventually get the man back, you really need to slow down and think before you text!

Here’s what happens when you text your ex boyfriend to tell him you love him. You send the text and you wait breathlessly for him to respond. You want him to say that he can’t live without you and he wants you back. Unfortunately, one of two things actually happen.

  1. He doesn’t respond at all. You stare at your phone for hours and you get nothing from him. You may start to wonder if the message was even delivered. It was. Yes, he is ignoring you on purpose.
  2. He writes back and says, “thank you” or “that’s nice.” Normally those are lovely phrases and we welcome them but obviously not in the case of an ex boyfriend you’ve just spilled your heart out to.

You should never text him to tell him what’s in his heart. He won’t respond in the way that you want. It’s almost guaranteed that his response, or lack of response, will make you feel worse and will cause you to regret your actions.

Another approach that women sometimes take when they feel an urge to text an ex is they’ll pretend to mistakenly send him a text meant for someone else. In a moment when you are desperate to have any sort of contact with your ex, this seems like such a great idea. In retrospect you’re going to realize how lame it really is. Your ex boyfriend is smarter than you give him credit for. He knows that you are sending him misguided messages so you can then contact him to explain.

One reader wrote to tell me that she sent her ex boyfriend a message saying that she couldn’t wait to see him later in the week. She naturally used another man’s name in the text. In her mind, this was the perfect trap to set, and the other man’s name was the irresistible bait. I probably don’t have to tell you that this didn’t work at all. Her ex boyfriend didn’t respond and when she finally did get in touch with him (via phone call) weeks later he was dating someone new. To her utter shock he explained that the misguided text message made him realize she had moved on so he followed suit.

Just as you need to be mindful of what you say when you see your ex boyfriend in person or what you say on the phone, you also need to be cautious with what you share via text message.

If you want to learn more about how you can use tiny messages to regain his interest, in the right way, click here to read my thoughts on texting your ex boyfriend.

Have You Been Texting an Ex Boyfriend? Why This is a Huge Mistake!

You know the rules, ladies. It’s all about no contact if you want to get your ex boyfriend back. That includes texting him. You haven’t been following that rule though, have you? You’ve fallen into the trap of texting him just to say “hey” or to see how he is. In your mind you’ve decided that since you didn’t hear his voice or see his handsome face, that it’s not really contact, right? It is! You’ve broken one of the most important rules any woman needs to follow after a break up. Allow me to explain why breaking this rule may be something you’ll soon come to regret.

Texting an ex boyfriend is akin to talking to him on the phone or rushing over to see him. In essence, you’re telling him that you can’t live without him, even if the text you send is generic and is supposed to look like it’s coming from a place of friendship. He can read between the lines and any correspondence at all from you suggests to him that you’re struggling with the break up and are sitting patiently waiting for the moment when he says he wants you back.

If you can refrain from texting him you’re showing him that you can live on a daily basis without him. This may seem insignificant, especially if he was the one who dumped you, but there’s a deep, hidden meaning that you shouldn’t be overlooking. When a woman separates herself completely from a man after a break up, she’s showing him that she’s accepted that their relationship has run its course. He’ll start to wonder why she’s given up on him and he’ll also begin to question whether she’s already moved on to someone else.

You can see that even though it seems innocent enough when you randomly text him, there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface than that. As you work your way through the days and weeks following the break up, keep all contact to a bare minimum. If you need to tell him to come pick up his things, leave a short and direct voicemail message asking him to do that. If there is a financial situation that demands his attention, again a short and very direct message is the way to handle it.

You should never try and hold onto a man after a break up by texting him, or calling him. You need to let him go for now. It’s also essential that you take that time right after the split to refocus on your own priorities so you can find the best road to travel in the future.

Give it a few weeks for your emotions to settle and then make a decision about whether pursuing him again is truly what you want. Time has a way of changing our perspective and it also gifts us with an inner strength we didn’t know we had. Remove his number from your phone, spoil yourself for a few weeks and keep an eye on the future.

Michael Fiore has developed this unbelievable program that will literally make your ex boyfriend come crawling back to you by using text messages the RIGHT way!

If you click here you can watch a free video explaining what he’s discovered. I just want to caution you not to take this approach if you’re unsure about whether you want him back or not. It works that well!

 

 

Texting an Ex Boyfriend? Tips to Handle This Correctly

Have you been texting an ex boyfriend? If you have, you’re not alone. Most of us have done it. It’s hard not to, isn’t it? It’s such an accessible form of communication. It takes mere seconds to find his number on your phone, type out a small message and press send. The problem is that texting an ex is really no different than calling him. If you’re doing it too often or being too sentimental or pushy in your text messages, you risk pushing your ex boyfriend away forever. I know it seems innocent to just send a random text here and there asking how he is, but you may be doing much more harm than good. There are ways to handle this in a way that actually creates a connection and doesn’t cause more conflict than is already there.

You don’t want to try and work out the details of your failed relationship through text message. It’s not the right communication vehicle for that. Most of us have been guilty of trying to do that. We’ll send a text that says, “what happened between us,” or “how did we end up like this.” Doing this actually will make your ex boyfriend feel cornered. He’ll panic because he’ll sense that you want an answer right then and there, through text. That’s typically the reason a man will respond to a text like that with something that suggests that he’s busy or he has to go. You never want to send your ex boyfriend a message that makes him feel as though you’ve put him on the spot. That’s not fair to him and inevitably it won’t produce the answers that you feel you need.

The Right Way to Text an Ex Boyfriend

It’s certainly okay to text him now and again but keep those messages light and non-dramatic. For instance, if his favorite sports team won an important game, send an innocent message about that. You might say you were watching and knew he’d be thrilled or perhaps you could say that you imagined he was grinning from ear-to-ear because of the win. It’s also okay to text him if a special occasion has arrived. Perhaps it’s his birthday or it’s the holidays. In that case a simple, “hope it’s a great day,” will suffice.

Your goal with all of this is to keep the lines of communication open in a friendly, non-threatening way. You don’t want him to feel that you’re chasing after him so keep the texts that you do send, few and far between. There’s absolutely no reason for you to text the man each and every day. If you do that, you’re essentially telling him that you’re desperate for his attention and can’t live without him. Whether that’s true or not, you don’t want him to sense it as it won’t be helpful if you hope to reconnect with him romantically one day.

Handling the messages he sends you can be a bit more challenging. Some men feed their egos by texting their ex girlfriend that they miss them just to see what type of response that will garner. You don’t want to feel as though your ex boyfriend is toying with your emotions so don’t respond in any serious way to a text like that. Simply send a message back asking how he’s been and what’s been going on in his life. If you do that, you’re subtly telling him that you don’t want to get into a position where you feel emotionally vulnerable. If he really does miss you, he’ll ask to see you.

There is a way to use text messages to make your ex boyfriend crave to be with you again. Learn what you can text him that will make him feel an overwhelming desire to try and make the relationship work.